No more perfect perfectionistic perfectionism…

I have this thing: I just can not allow people to see/realise that I’m not perfect, that I do not always know what to do in situations and that I sometimes mess up. Let me give you an example of how far perfectionalism has infiltrated my life:

I have made macaroni with cheese sauce at least 528 times in my life. But let somebody stand next to me to see what I do, I’m suddenly SO aware of, oh, a number of things: Oe, the microwave’s not as clean as it should be… Is the flour not past it’s best by date? Oh my goodness, did I just touch my nose and continued without washing my hand first? The result always have lumps, is always too thin, not salt enough, not cheesy enough, just not right. So of course, next time, I’ll yell: DON’T WATCH ME/GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN/GET AWAY or something to that effect when somebody wants to watch me cook.

But as I take my job as mother as seriously as my doing other things, ja wel, perfectly… and my son has to, of course, be able to cook his own food someday and he did indicate an interested in the preparation of food… I have actually let him HELP me…[gritting of teeth]. I have found that I do not always work well with “shared responsibility” because, of course, the other person’s perfect is not the same as MY perfect…

Ha! Ha! Ha! [Cover your ears to the sound of my laughter!] You might not believe me, but I just received a video blog on this very topic! You can check it out here: Video: Coach 4 2day – Perfectionism.

Summary: If you’re a perfectionist and you decide not to be a perfectionist but you can’t give up your perfectionism perfectly, you’re gonna judge yourself about it.

Rather: allow yourself to be perfectionistic and allow yourself to be imperfect as a perfectionist.

This basically boils down to: Be a perfectionist but you’ll never, ever be able to do anything perfectly, but that’s OK.

Back to my original story: Perfectionism can be very isolating, though: all alone in the kitchen… excluding myself from my family/guests. Once you acknowledge that you are not perfect (and for that matter nobody else either!) and allow yourself to be vulnerable to the presence/help/watchful gaze of somebody else, what you gain is so much better than having a perfect end result.

What you gain is companionship, that special bond created when doing things together.

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